Monday Results

Basketball
Modernists def Impressionists 8 - 7

Soccer
Cubists tie Constructivists 1 - 1
Vampire Slayers def Post-Impressionists 1 - 0
Constructivists def Surrealists 2 - 0
Cubists def Post-Impressionists 1 - 0
Vampire Slayers tie Surrealists 0 - 0
Modernists tie Impressionists 3 - 3

Day Four Standings
1. Vampire Slayers 5 – 0 – 3
2. Constructivists 4 - 2 – 2
2. Cubists 4 – 2 - 2
4. Modernists 4 – 3 - 1
5. Post-Impressionists 2 – 3 – 3
6. Surrealists 1 – 5 – 2
7. Impressionists 0 – 5 – 3


BASKETBALL MVP
Emily Girl

BASKETBALL HUSTLE AWARD
Albert Cho

SOCCER MVP
Rohan Kulkarni

SOCCER HUSTLE AWARD
Brian Ferguson


It’s as tight as ever here at the Cup — a big soccer day today, as the games Sunday were postponed due to extensive rioting. The All-Star game has been rescheduled to Thursday at 7:00pm. So with four games left in the regular season, the Cubists and the Constructivists are neck and neck for second place at 4 – 2 – 2. They tied today on the pitch in their first game. In game two, the Constructivists, who had yet to win a soccer match, defeated the Surrealists, who had yet to lose one. Center striker Alec Bronder scored two beauties in the Red Wedge’s shutout, and Jacob “the leprechaun” Knutson made a strong showing as well, both on the offensive and defensive sides of the ball. Roman “the nobleman” Larson played sweeper with dignity and grace, allowing just one goal on the evening.

And that goal was scored by Ben Quazzo of the Cubists, who was magnificent as usual. He and Noah “the iceman” Friedman worked the Guernicattack with the precision of Spanish bombs in Andalucia, coming down in the days of ’39. After tying the Constructivists 1 - 1, they went on to beat the ever-dangerous Post-Impressionist outfit 1 – 0, in what sports analysts are calling “the game of the century.”

The Post-Impressionists fell from their second-place spot down to fifth with their two losses tonight. They outplayed the first-place Vampire Slayers in their opening game, but couldn’t manage to put the ball in the net. And then, with only eight seconds left on the clock, the Slayers scored on a beautiful cross by Riley Flood against the Post-Impressionists’ vaunted defense for the victory.

As a result, the Slayers have added another W to their undefeated season, as well as their third tie. Brian “the dynamo” Ferguson was all over the field, making plays left and right for his squad. But it was a team effort that kept the Vampire Slayers’ unblemished and well ahead in the Cup.

The Surrealists, missing team captain Neville Eclov, looked good on the defensive side of the ball, holding the Slayers to a 0 – 0 tie. Angel “the rainman” Uson looked impenetrable in the sweeper spot in the first game, and Roarke Thornswood held the team together from the right defensive midfielder position. Alastair “the taxi” Louey, Kevin “the goose” Lau, and Sanjay “the gangster” Srinivas worked the offensive strike with vigor but without, unfortunately, knocking one in the net.

The Impressionists’ Rohan Kulkarni controlled the ball spectacularly in the midfield for his team, passing, dribbling, shooting, and playing defense like Ronaldo before he got fat. They managed three goals but also gave up three in their tie with the Modernists.

The Mod Squad was able to eek a victory out of the Water Lilies on the basketball court, however, with the dynamic duo — Spencer Koh and Albert Cho — giving it their all. They Broadway Boogie-Woogies are still only 2 games out of first place, and just a half game out of the wild card race. Anything could happen in the final two days of the cup.